Natural Birth

I have heard horror stories about child birth in and out of hospitals. I figure if something is going to go wrong than it will go wrong no matter where we are. as i grew up mom told more horror stories of hospitals than home midwife births. okay well no horror stories but she would shiver and just mumble on about the discomforts of a hospital. as i grew older and learned more about what having a baby entails i saw mom in a different way. she had willingly chosen to endure great motherly pain for all of us equally. honestly she is my hero . i dont know for certain if my grandmothers did too but i have the feeling both my parents mothers did as well. i want to be one of those women that is so selfless. ill be honest the main reason i want to do this is to walk in my mothers footsteps and really try to be a similar mother in as many ways as i can.
This being the first real step to motherhood i feel its got to be done right. i know that doing natural birth can bring a stronger connection and love between mother and child. i will FEEL everything and i want it that way. pain is nothing compared to the thought of missing out on the miracle of feeling my child come into this world through God, William, and me. Some new medical things are good and some are not as good. why start off motherhood in one of the laziest ways? silly. Childbirth has changed since old times. for some reason Western women go in thinking its going to be a terrible experience and so they make it into one. well i for one am going to try my best to go in thinking it will be hard yes, but that doesn't mean it has to be terrible. is climbing a mountain terrible if it burns your legs and blisters your feet? if the view is amazing and the pain made it more worth it? no. not to me. if things are easy we dont grasp the whole of what we are. I want to know i can do anything for my kid, even endure that infamously terrible pain.

Evelyn Explainations

During the ultrasound it was not clear if the baby is Peter William Bush or Evelyn Jenae Bush. I have felt that I was having a girl first for a long time now, just instinct maybe, still I could be wrong. During the ultrasound the lady said that from what she saw in some glowing white dashes she thinks its a girl. She sounded about 75% sure. I wont be buying any pink things but im going to let myself say "she" and  "Evelyn" till I am told differently. That is why. Sorry for the confusion. I want neutrals for most of my first baby things anyway so that i can use them for a long long time. I wont have another ultrasound till Christmas break at the earliest which is after my baby shower in Walla Walla. We are all out of luck that way. I have registered a good price variety of things at Target that are neutral themed enough in my eyes. I love them! :) Im okay with not knowing when it comes to all that. Just wish we knew cause William wants a boy and it would be nice to know for sure that he has to give up on the hope for a boy. He is a good sport and is happy still. Im really happy. Excited to name her Evelyn after my lovely Grandma Johnson. Really want to do that before we have a boy.

the heart beat

Ultrasound photos

see how tight she was. either she was comfortable or being stubborn lol

i like this picture of her spine and body frame

                                                                   she was tasting her fist

she was chewing her fist

her brain

Baby Evelyn (maybe)

Went to my first ever ultrasound today. Lovely thing to get to be a part of! My goodness. My baby is there and growing. She was so funny. Kept her little knees tight together, did Not want to show us that she was in fact a she. I cant wait to smell and kiss her. :D Still dont know for sure if it is Evelyn or Peter. Cannot wait to know.